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Overheard
| Message Board > Found on the web > Overheard |
| stew User Info... | One of my Favorites: Jock #1: Dude, that bitch broke my heart. Jock #2, eating a burrito: I know, man. You were always so unhappy, and I wanted to, like, slap you around and make you happy. Jock #1, singing softly and staring blankly at the ground: I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you... Jock #2: Look, man, we boys, aight? But when you start singing cheesy-ass love songs to a chick that cheated on you, gave you an STD, and shit on top of your car because she's crazier than a fucking monkey on crack with a banana up its ass, something's wrong with you, and maybe we shouldn't hang out anymore. http://www.overheardeverywhere.com/pages/mostpopular.html - Fri, 18 Apr 2008 1:41pm Edited: Fri, 18 Apr 2008 1:42pm | ||
| trevor corey User Info... | And Leave Wet Spots Wherever They Go Male professor: Yes, Miss...? Uh... Hot chick, raising hand: Beaver. Professor: Beaver? How come I don't remember that being your last name? You don't look like a 'Beaver.' Maybe if you were wet... [Entire class goes silent, then erupts with laughter.] Professor, embarrassed: I meant because beavers live around the water! - Fri, 18 Apr 2008 4:28pm | ||
| Dr.DoomXXX User Info... | My old boss: Hey you had a baby. Customer: Yeah, and it's gonna happen again. Boss: Yeah? Customer: Yeah I'm already pregnant again. Boss; Well, some one's been a busy beaver. - Fri, 18 Apr 2008 4:57pm | ||
| Mr. Hell User Info... | Hahaha. Great reading. Student: Maybe he's gay for the snake. Teacher: Did you just say "gay for the snake"?! Drunk girl, loudly: Anyone who says they've never had an itchy asshole is just fucking lying. Dude: I'd let a horse rope me in the ass if the money was right. Black lady on cell: I said, 'Yeah, I'm black, but dat don' mean I be makin' counterfeit money!' Little boy: Daddy, how are we going to get down? Father: Parachutes. Hottie: Here ya go -- put this in your man-purse for me, please. Indie boyfriend, indignantly: It's not a man-purse! It's a medical evac bag! Hottie: Okay. You got any bandages or sterile alcohol in there? Indie boyfriend: ... No. Hottie: Yeah, right -- it's a man-purse. [Guy sullenly puts item in bag.] Daughter: It's like... I didn't see any Mexicans around for months, and then today, I've seen so many! Father: Well, it got warm. Mother, about a TV: It's really heavy! It's as heavy as-- Four-year-old girl: --A dead body. Dad in locker room, to son: Jake, take your pants off. Five-year-old son, singing: Take your pants off, do the ducky-ducky. Dad: Jake! Five-year-old son: Take your pants off, do the something-something. Professor: Usually people ride donkeys to the top of the mountain because it's really steep. Afterwards, you can go down on the donkeys, too, if you'd like. Hahahaha. Holy shit. Ok, I'll stop now. Great site. - Sun, 20 Apr 2008 3:38pm Edited: Sun, 20 Apr 2008 4:21pm | ||
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