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Troutbreath on Troutbreath (some reading required)
| Message Board > Controversy and Quarantine > Troutbreath on Troutbreath (some reading required) |
| Troutbreath User Info... | Troutbreath Troutbreath was the dockboy for the Carrington's marina. He was in charge of the moorage, organized the guiding, sold bait and ran the gas pumps. He did his clothes shopping at the local SallyAnn. He had found several sets of overalls donated by an oil company. He was wearing one with the name 'TOM' in a big red circle over the right breast pocket. He had three more of these outfits; one said 'BRAD', another had the name 'BILL', the last one announced in gold letters that he was a 'QUALIFIED TECHNICIAN'. Troutbreath found that by changing his appearance slightly and wearing a different set of the overalls he could become four different people. This appealed to his sense of chaos and uncertainty. Tourists would walk up to him and say, "Hey, I was talking to 'BILL' yesterday, he was going to find something out for me. Have you seen him around?" Troutbreath would point in the direction of the boathouse and say, "Yeah, I think I saw him going over that way earlier." The people that worked in the boatshed would be equally as helpful, " 'BILL'? Oh no, you just missed him. I think he was going over to the store." The resort was quite a large complex, tourists could be kept on the hunt for a remarkably long time. You had to admire their persistence. As a 'QUALIFIED TECHNICIAN' he had done some work on a guy's motor, a high performance outboard. The next day the guy returned for some minor adjustments. When 'BRAD' offered to do it for him the guy was quite adamant, "Oh no, I only want that qualified technician touching this baby." Troutbreath watched the R.C.M.P. in their new boat disappear behind the islands in mid-channel then turned his attention to the tourist trying to dock his yacht at the gas float. The man was awkward with the controls and the generic look of the yacht suggested to him that the boat was a rented one, probably out of Seattle. Yachts like this could be rented on the strength of a valid driver's license and a current credit card. After much yelling back and forth between the man on the flying bridge and a woman, presumably the man's wife standing on the deck ready to throw the ropes, they managed to secure the boat. The man climbed down from the flying bridge and approached Troutbreath with a worried look on his face. He cleared his throat and in a low voice said, "Say, uhhh... 'TOM' I was wondering if you could help me with a small problem." Troutbreath had helped with small problems before. "What seems to be the matter?" He asked. "Keep your voice down please! I don't want my wife to hear us talking, she worries you know." Troutbreath adopted a more conspiratorial volume. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong." "It is kind of worrisome," the man said, "the bottom of the boat keeps filling up with water." "I don't quite understand what you mean. The bottom of your boat?" "You know, inside the boat, down where the engine is." Troutbreath was slightly incredulous, "You mean as we stand here talking your boat is filling with water?" "Well, yes, it seems to do that every time we stop somewhere." "Have you turned on the bilge pump." "The what pump?" "You know the bilge pump, it sucks up any water that gets in the boat." "Uhhuh," said the man looking a bit lost, "what's the bilge?" Troutbreath looked at the man and then at the 55 foot yacht he had piloted to the gasdock. He took the man onboard and up to the wheelhouse. He pointed out the large switch labeled 'Bilge Pump' on the control panel. Troutbreath flipped on the switch. There was the sound of the pumps working, then two heavy streams of water began pouring from the outlets in the hull. "So that's a bilge pump." The man was clearly impressed with 'TOM's' expertise. "Perhaps we should go down below and have a look. To see what's going on." Troutbreath tried to remain as calm as possible. From the volume of water the pumps were moving the boat was definitely in danger of sinking. Troutbreath and the man went below, into the engine room where a set of floorboards gave access to the bilge. The boards were nearly floating. However, the pumps kept up with the flow and the water began draining. There were no signs of a hole in the hull or other damage. Troutbreath was puzzled, the pumps continued to move water, so it must be coming in from some where. He asked a few questions. The yacht was indeed rented, it had been stored on dry land and dropped into the water on the day he had picked it up. He and his wife had spent the next three days working their way up the coast. Every time they stopped somewhere the boat began filling with water. The water seemed to disappear as soon as they started running. This left the man in a difficult position. He didn't want to alarm his wife by telling her the boat was sinking but he was quickly using up all his excuses on why he kept moving from one place to another. They had been running almost non-stop until they encountered the rapids. "You haven't stopped running for two days?" "I am starting to get a little tired," "I don't suppose you've ever heard of a thing called a seacock?" "Does it have something to do with the water?" Troutbreath explained it for the man. "A seacock is installed in the stern of the boat. When the boat is stored on dry land it allows any rainwater to drain out of the boat. This place in Seattle forgot to check them for you when they dropped the boat in the water. He showed the man the compartment in the stern of the boat with the seacocks set into the bottom of it. "See here," said Troutbreath, "when the boat is running the water can drain out of these valves but as soon as you stop, the water just flows in through them." "Say, that sure is good to know. That sure makes me feel better." "I've closed them now, you won't have to worry about any more water getting in." The two of them walked back to the bridge and the man offered Troutbreath a drink. "I can't thank you enough. Is there any way I can repay you?" "There's no need, that's what I'm here for. Is there anything else I can do for you?" "Uh... There is one more thing you can tell me.?" "What's that," asked Troutbreath. The man pointed to the channel and the tide flowing past the mouth of the bay. "Why does this river run both ways?" - Tue, 2 Mar 2004 4:52pm | ||
| ROSS B AY User Info... | My cats' breath smells like cat food.... - Thu, 4 Mar 2004 8:00pm | ||
| jackass User Info... | I bent my wookie. - Fri, 5 Mar 2004 6:06am | ||
| JIMMY B AY User Info... | That Cat's been wantin' me ta talk to ya ackchurly, it sez it don' mind that you buys it that cheap and nasty Brand X catfood, it don' even mind that ya kisses her on the lips from time ta time but she's gotta draw the line at slippin' her tongue. - Fri, 5 Mar 2004 7:23am | ||
| ROSS B AY User Info... | Well aintn' yew tha wun with tha faynci book lernin's cuz... - Fri, 5 Mar 2004 8:46am | ||
| JIMMY B AY User Info... | I'm jus' tryin' ta make yer proud of yer Cuzin'/Pappy - Fri, 5 Mar 2004 9:27am | ||
| ROSS B AY User Info... | Ahhh luvs yew bruthrr/mom/unkl Jim... - Fri, 5 Mar 2004 9:33am | ||
| JIMMY B AY User Info... | Don't gush boy, it ain't seemly. - Fri, 5 Mar 2004 4:21pm | ||
| ROSS B AY User Info... | Yous lyin' threw yerr tooth agin... - Fri, 5 Mar 2004 4:24pm | ||
| JIMMY B AY User Info... | Don't you know that B AY's is incapable a' lyin'? Our ears turn bright red an' snot starts ta runnin' out our noses. It's how come your Great Grand Uncle Hudson lost the fambly fortune playin' at cards. I oughta learn you tha fambly histry one day. - Fri, 5 Mar 2004 11:22pm | ||
| Mest User Info... | no comprende signor - Fri, 12 Mar 2004 3:37pm | ||
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