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As an experienced bartender..............
Message Board > Controversy and Quarantine > As an experienced bartender..............
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Dr.DoomXXX
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I've made some observations about drink preferences vs. personality;

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink........

Drink: Wine
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she's classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is....this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk...........and naked.
Your approach. Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----
The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He's hoping the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay. - Wed, 31 Oct 2007 7:51pm Edited: Wed, 31 Oct 2007 7:53pm
Doc
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That's fuckin' hillarious. I reflect back on trips that I've taken to the bar and it just rings so true.

~My God is bigger than your God
Doc

P.S. The part about the toothless waitress, especially funny. Does the waitress where you work actually have no teeth? - Wed, 31 Oct 2007 9:44pm
Dr.DoomXXX
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I used to tend bar at the dougie before they shut down. My co-worker wasn't toothless but she was a cross eyed anal whore. - Thu, 1 Nov 2007 9:21pm
dumpstermesh
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HAHA! So true! But you missed a couple.

Single Malts:
She is patient and probably married. Good tipper.
Approach: Don't bother, she's only there because the library is closed.

Jagerbombs:
She is underage or barely legal, ID her. Doesn't understand the concept of tipping.
Approach: Tell her that you really like her hair and buy two more jagerbombs, when she starts talking too loud it's time to suggest the nearest school playground. - Fri, 2 Nov 2007 2:26pm
Mr. Hell
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Maybe that cross-eyed anal whore can secure a part in the big show coming up at SOFA in August 2008. - Fri, 9 Nov 2007 8:20pm
trevor corey
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http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=T_6kyoFF8cE - Sat, 10 Nov 2007 8:02pm
Andrew
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the nearest school playground

HAHAHA

i've been to the nearest school playground a few times in highschool. - Sat, 24 Nov 2007 9:17am
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