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Jokes
| Message Board > Controversy and Quarantine > Jokes |
| Doppelganger User Info... | What do you say to a Man with no arms and legs? Got the time on yer cock? - Tue, 21 Dec 2004 6:20pm | ||
| soap dodger User Info... | Q: What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? A: One of them walked on the moon... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...and the other one fucks little boys - Tue, 21 Dec 2004 11:10pm | ||
| SickFuk User Info... | Didn't you realize that Michael Jackson was a practicing Catholic? - Wed, 22 Dec 2004 3:22am | ||
| dumpstermesh User Info... | What's the difference between a regular and a rectal thermometer? :) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .The TASTE!!:) - Wed, 22 Dec 2004 3:36pm | ||
| Perpetual_Burn User Info... | What's the Best Part about Raping and Killing a child? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . They can't tell anyone! - Wed, 22 Dec 2004 9:19pm | ||
| Dr.DoomXXX User Info... | What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . You can't stick your dick in a rock! - Thu, 23 Dec 2004 12:01am | ||
| soap dodger User Info... | What's the worst part about having sex with a six year old? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Getting blood all over your clown suit. - Thu, 23 Dec 2004 12:44am | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... |  | ||
| MP User Info... | For once, I'll agree with you Kimberleykaos. There are some really fucking sick people (musicians?) using this website. Bet you all wouldn't joke about this stuff if it happened to you, or your brothers or sisters, or your kids. - Thu, 23 Dec 2004 9:34am | ||
| Tragedy User Info... | Wow MP, not to sound too crass here, but you sound like an uptight cunt. In case you missed the title of the thread, they're JOKES. No need for a soap box and a pc tongue lashing for all us sinners. Get over it. DOES ANYONE REMEMBER LAUGHTER??!! - Thu, 23 Dec 2004 12:51pm | ||
| SickFuk User Info... | "There are some really fucking sick people (musicians?) using this website." You know.... I think you're right BTW: Whats the best part about fucking a 10 yr old girl? Flip her over and you have a 12 yr old boy 'ere - Thu, 23 Dec 2004 4:40pm | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | As much as I care that you think I am right "for once", you sure are an uptight cunt - and if anyone needs to chill it's you. You should know - incase you are a "NEWCOMER" that this site is FULL of sick musicians and comedians alike - so maybe you should just FUCK OFF if your little sensitive self can't handle it. Opinions are great - agreeable or not - but if every post your just gonna whine and fuckin hack everything, why fuckin burn our eyes with your useless scribblin's. Go to the Oprah messageboard or something. P.S. TRAGEDY - DID YOU READ HIS/HERS OTHER SESSIONS IN BARS BUSTED? HAVE A READ. - Thu, 23 Dec 2004 6:24pm | ||
| Dave Slaughter User Info... |  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . cause theres 20 of em - Thu, 23 Dec 2004 7:31pm | ||
| Wig User Info... | i'm liking this kimberleykaos;) do you wanna hangout sometime? maybe you could slap me around alittle and then later we could.... well i don't wanna push my luck a good slapping around is a much as i should expect on the first date. - Thu, 23 Dec 2004 7:40pm | ||
| WISEGUY User Info... | she sounds like a real beeyotch to me. who needs that shit? - Thu, 23 Dec 2004 8:48pm | ||
| dumpstermesh User Info... | The Micheal Jackson one was good!!! I'm not sure why one would want to see him w/breasts but to each their own... - Thu, 23 Dec 2004 10:33pm | ||
| Troutbreath User Info... |   - Thu, 23 Dec 2004 10:58pm | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... |  WIG - your name wouldn't be Mark would it? I had a friend I have lost touch with that went by some nickname like that. - Fri, 24 Dec 2004 8:42am | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... |  | ||
| Wig User Info... | no its not Mark, quite sure we've never met. - Fri, 24 Dec 2004 2:47pm | ||
| Wig User Info... | what is 18" long and makes women scream? . . . . . . . . . . .. . .. . . . .. . . . . . . .. . crib death - Fri, 24 Dec 2004 3:32pm | ||
| ROSS B AY User Info... | what's the best thing about fucking bald pussy? . . .. . . . . . . . .. putting the diaper back on after. - Fri, 24 Dec 2004 3:38pm | ||
| Dr.DoomXXX User Info... | BULLSHIT!!!!!!!! it's getting paid for bay sittin'. What's the best part about fucking a 6 year old? . . . . . . Her tiny little hands will make your dick look bigger. What's the worst part? . . . . . . . When she tells you she's had better. - Fri, 24 Dec 2004 8:51pm | ||
| XY-MP User Info... | SICK, SICK, SICK, you people are all SICK ! Why did Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand ? She moans with the other . - Sat, 25 Dec 2004 3:48am | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | What's with the XY MP? Gosh, I hope this little mouthpiece hasn't brainwashed you and started some fuckin cult or somethin'! And if ya did - can I join? Merriest of all Christmas' to you and Brenda, and the little ones, hope you have a lovely day. - Sat, 25 Dec 2004 2:55pm | ||
| SickFuk User Info... | Sooooo.... What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and makes most women squeel with delight? MONEY! 'ere - Sat, 25 Dec 2004 3:35pm | ||
| mindlesssexmagik User Info... | ahahahah that was the best one by far....aahhh yes, money, its like catnip for women - Sat, 25 Dec 2004 9:22pm | ||
| Dave Slaughter User Info... | so i knew this girl who lost her left arm and leg but shes all right now we call her ilene - Sun, 26 Dec 2004 8:27pm | ||
| Dave Slaughter User Info... | whats the diffrence between acne and michael jackson? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . acne doesnt come on 6 year old boys faces - Sun, 26 Dec 2004 8:52pm | ||
| zac User Info... | Whats the difference between a newborn baby and your grandmother? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Your grandmother doesnt die when i fuck her in the ass - Sun, 26 Dec 2004 11:59pm | ||
| Dave Slaughter User Info... |  whats the diffrence between a pile of dead babys and a ferrari? i dont have a ferrari in my garage how do you get a baby inside of a blender? turn it on how do you get a baby out of a blender? with a straw whats the one thing better than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with one live baby in the middle, eating its way out what do you do when you see 100 dead babies and 100 live babies? stop laughing and reload whats better than 10 dead babies nailed to a dead tree? 1 dead babie nailed to 10 dead trees uhm...........cant think of anymore, but i know lots more :D ill remember them sometime - Mon, 27 Dec 2004 3:10pm | ||
| IYI User Info... | What is this? A gross out contest? These are not jokes. What's so fucking funny about dead babies? Is a bear catholic? Does the pope shit in the woods? - Mon, 27 Dec 2004 3:59pm | ||
| Pine Tree Savage User Info... | This kid johny has a real bad mouth, and soap isn't fixxing it, so johny's dad goes to a shrink to find out if there is anything he can do to solve his sons problem. the shrink tell the father to ask his son what he wants for christmas, and if the child answers with curse words, leave a pile of dog shit in place of every present. So the father asks his son what he wants, the kid replies, I want a god-damn fuckin stocking stuffed to the nutz with all sorts of shit, I want a fucking electric train, running around that shitty tree, and a brand new bike leening up against the fuckin garage. Soooo.... Christmas morning comes around, and little mouthpiece johny jumps out of bed, and grabs his stocking, all he gets is a handfull of dog shit. he goes to the tree in the living room, and there is dog shit every where, he checks to see if he got a bike, and , yep you guessed right, DOG SHIT! His father asks him what Santa brought him. Johny says, I think he got me a god-damn dog, but I cant find the son of a bitch. - Mon, 27 Dec 2004 5:31pm | ||
| the pine tree savage User Info... | I know its my own fault for reading these jokes, but I figured I would return the favor, for wasting my time - Mon, 27 Dec 2004 5:40pm | ||
| PrincessP User Info... | Why was helen kellers leg yellow her dog was blind too. Why did helen kellers dog jump off a cliff you would to if your name was ahhrahaaahhhaallllaaa two lovers are in bed and the female says to the man "people tell me your a petifile" and the male says that's a big word for a 6 year old. - Mon, 27 Dec 2004 7:03pm | ||
| Dr.DoomXXX User Info... | What's the advantage to unloading a truck load of dead babies over a truck load of bowling balls? . . . . . . . . . *sips beer* you can use a pitch fork. - Mon, 27 Dec 2004 7:44pm | ||
| Dr.DoomXXX User Info... | Hey Dave Slaughter! Ya know why ya stick the baby in the blender feet first right? . . . . . . . . . to see the expresion on it's face. - Mon, 27 Dec 2004 7:47pm | ||
| Dave Slaughter User Info... | haha, nice! - Tue, 28 Dec 2004 1:09am | ||
| Troutbreath User Info... | "Hi, nice meetin' ya. What do you do?" "I'm a musician" "Oh yeah, what restaurant do you work at?" - Tue, 28 Dec 2004 11:07am | ||
| Hell's Thunder User Info... |  They wash up on shore! - Tue, 28 Dec 2004 11:58am | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | A man, whose level of drunkness was bordering on the absurd, stands up to leave a bar and falls flat on his face. "Maybe all I need is some fresh air," he thinks as he crawls outside. Once outside he tries to stand up again, but falls face first in the mud. "Fuck it," he thinks. "I'll just crawl home then." The next morning, his wife finds him in the hallway, asleep. "You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she asks. "How'd you know?" he replies, angered by the implications. . . . . . . . . . . . . "You left your wheelchair at the bar again." - Wed, 29 Dec 2004 7:42pm | ||
| SickFuk User Info... | bwahahahaha So this woman in her late 40's goes in to see a plastic surgeon one day... She tells the doctor that what she'd like to do is have her labia reduced so she can at least look tight again for her husband... But of course this is a very delicate and private thing to have done, so she makes the doctor swear that no one will know... not her family, not anyone... The doctor assures her that he will use the utmost discretion, and only him and one nurse will be there for the procedure.. The day of the surgery arrives, and as the anestetic starts to hit, she calmly falls asleep... When she wakes up, all groggy, she see's 3 red roses at the foot of her bed, so since no one was supposed to know about this, she immediately buzzes for the nurse. When the nurse comes in she demands to know where these flowers came from..... Well, the nurse explains, "the first one is from the doctor, as he felt obligated to give you a flower after what he was doing with you.... the second is from me, being a woman I can empathize with what you just went through... and the third rose is from the guy upstairs in the burn unit... thanking you for his new earlobes 'ere - Wed, 29 Dec 2004 8:42pm | ||
| Nik Olaz User Info... | heres my joke livevictoria's messageboard is full of smart people. - Thu, 30 Dec 2004 2:40am | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | Fuckin priceless. Sick, but funny as hell. - Thu, 30 Dec 2004 10:42am | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | A Zen master visiting New York City goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "make me one with everything." The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cashbox and closes it. "Excuse me, but where's my change?" asks the Zen master. The vendor responds, . . . . . . . . . . "change must come from within." - Thu, 30 Dec 2004 11:07am | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | A drunken sailor gives a hooker $100, and they proceed to a back bedroom. After a few minutes, the sailor asks, "How am I doing?" "About three knots," says the hooker. "Three knots?" asks the sailor. "What the fuck are you talking about?" . . . . . . . . . . "Your NOT hard, you're NOT in, and you're NOT getting your money back." - Thu, 30 Dec 2004 11:31am | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | Alright, just one more, one of my favs: "Bless me Father, for I have sinned, I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I've been with a loose woman. "The priest sighs, "Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?" "Yes Father, 'tis I." "And who might be the woman you were with?" "I shant be telling you, Father. It would ruin her reputation." "Well Tommy, I'm bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?" "I cannot say." "Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Cathy O'Dell?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Fiona Mallory, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy O'Shaughnessy, I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now." Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "Four more good leads!" - Thu, 30 Dec 2004 8:04pm | ||
| Dave Slaughter User Info... | bahahahahahaha alrite, heres one so i knew this kid who used to live in toronto, and he used to think it was funny to get this big chain and wrap it around his arm, then he would get on these bridges over the highway and hit cars with his big chain. anyways, one day he was doin this and his big chain wraps around the mirror on a big semi and rips the kids arm off. but, later, it was the truck driver who was charged. when he asked why the judge told him it was for . . . . . . . . . . . . . armed robbery hahahahahahaha - Thu, 30 Dec 2004 11:20pm | ||
| Troutbreath User Info... | It seems there was this Cotton farmer in the deep south. He was sittin' on his porch sipping on a Mint Julep and overlooking his estate, thinking how good things were going for him. He had slaves picking his cotton and he couldn't see how he could improve on the situation. Then, one day a Canadian guy was driving by. You know how curious Canadians can be. He asked the cotton farmer how things worked for him. So, the Cotton farmer explained the system, all these slaves working for just food and lodging picking Cotton all day long. The Canadian thinks about it and he says to the Cotton farmer: "You know, I'll bet you could teach monkeys how to pick that cotton and all you'd have to feed them is banana's and they wouldn't need housing at all. Think of the savings." So, after the Canadian leaves the Cotton farmer gets himself a monkey and sure enough the monkey learns how to pick cotton in no time at all. The farmer is so impressed he gets more monkeys and before long he's gotten rid of all his slaves and he's got nothing but monkeys picking cotton while he sits back on his porch sipping a Mint Julep and handing out banana's. A friend of the cotton farmer is passing by one day and he can't believe what he is seeing. He jumps out of his pick-up and yells over to the farmer sitting on the porch. "Geez, George, what are all those monkeys doing in your cotton field?" "They're picking my cotton for me." "Picking your cotton? Where did you ever get such a crazy idea as that?" "Well this Canadian feller came by and told me all about it." " A Canadian feller you say? You know, them Canadians sure are smart. Why, I hear they have over a hundred thousand frogs cutting lumber for them up there in Quebec!" - Fri, 31 Dec 2004 1:10am | ||
| the pine tree savage User Info... | What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians A drummer - Mon, 3 Jan 2005 11:14pm | ||
| Tragedy User Info... | If you went on a camping trip with some friends and woke up with a condom hanging out of your ass, would you tell anybody? - Wed, 5 Jan 2005 9:42pm | ||
| dumpstermesh User Info... | Are you trying to tell us something tragedy? Been camping recently??? - Wed, 5 Jan 2005 9:53pm | ||
| Tragedy User Info... | Just answer the question, man... - Wed, 5 Jan 2005 9:57pm | ||
| dumpstermesh User Info... | I'd go around asking everyone I knew if they, by chance, left a fukking condom in my ass!! I just want to return it to it's rightful owner. Plus it helps me figure out next years X-mas card list. Man... - Wed, 5 Jan 2005 10:00pm | ||
| Tragedy User Info... | Bwahahaa, fuck it, my joke has been blown to shit. - Wed, 5 Jan 2005 10:05pm | ||
| Tragedy User Info... | Man. - Wed, 5 Jan 2005 10:06pm | ||
| dumpstermesh User Info... | Aww ..fuk buddy I'm just teasin ya... You just pull it out (slowly) and add it to your collection:) - Wed, 5 Jan 2005 10:09pm | ||
| Tragedy User Info... | Fuck it. Too busy wiping my tears of self pity and loathing. - Wed, 5 Jan 2005 10:14pm | ||
| dumpstermesh User Info... | Fine, leave it in. It's just going to seep. - Wed, 5 Jan 2005 10:19pm | ||
| Dave Slaughter User Info... | i know ID leave it in, then you dont have to worry about the next guy having a condom on him! - Thu, 6 Jan 2005 12:10am | ||
| Big bird User Info... | What happend when the bass player locked his keys in the car ? It took him an hour to get the Drummer out ... My girl told me to give her ten inches and make her bleed, so I shoved it in twice and punched her in the face - Sat, 8 Jan 2005 1:10pm | ||
| myka User Info... | do you know the difference between eating pancakes and sucking dick? - Sat, 8 Jan 2005 9:46pm | ||
| Dr.DoomXXX User Info... | I'm willing to eat pancakes. - Sun, 9 Jan 2005 8:11pm | ||
| dumpstermesh User Info... | HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHHAHAH - Mon, 10 Jan 2005 1:41am | ||
| myka User Info... | damn! you ruined my punchline.... - Wed, 12 Jan 2005 9:56pm | ||
| Hell's Thunder User Info... | A woman walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. But, as she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it...you're going to shit when you hear the price." - Sat, 15 Jan 2005 9:40pm | ||
| bad_fairy User Info... | What kinda gift do you give a dead baby? A dead puppy! - Sun, 16 Jan 2005 10:02am | ||
| Luc User Info... | Don't think this michael one has been posted yet....What do Michael Jackson and McDonalds have in common? .....40 year old meat between 12 year old buns! - Tue, 18 Jan 2005 11:29pm | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | Thanks for the visual on that one...blecchhkk! Two mailmen are chatting on a sidewalk after finishing their routes when one steps on a slug. "Why'd you do that?" asks the other guy. . . . . . . . . . . The first guy wipes off his shoe and says, "Bastard's been following me all day!" - Wed, 19 Jan 2005 11:37am | ||
| Destinova User Info... | Oh I get it! Because mailmen are slow!! AHHHHHHH HAHAHAHA!!! - Wed, 19 Jan 2005 5:51pm | ||
| Dr.DoomXXX User Info... | Did you here Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? . . . . . . . . He bit into a 10 year old wiener. (harhar) - Wed, 19 Jan 2005 8:51pm | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | Ahh, it was just a silly good clean fun joke, I've posted a few though, some not so clean. Where's your jokes D? Oh that's right, you have the personality and sense of humor of a rock...nevermind then. - Thu, 20 Jan 2005 3:06pm | ||
| dumpstermesh User Info... | You better have meant Destinova by that or I'm going to cry in the corner and won't be able to masturbate for at least 10 mins. - Thu, 20 Jan 2005 3:09pm | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | Ahhh, baby, you know I would never say shite about you...now you go enjoy yourself and think of me. - Thu, 20 Jan 2005 3:11pm | ||
| dumpstermesh User Info... | WHEEEEEEE.... That's right cuz I'm d and he's D.... why couldn't I see that. Masturbation affects the eyes I heard. - Thu, 20 Jan 2005 3:14pm | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | That's why I wear glasses - besides the naughty librarian look. - Thu, 20 Jan 2005 3:58pm | ||
| Dr.DoomXXX User Info... | Don't ya mean the thrifty's look? Thrifty chicks can be naughty, this one thrifty chick I know humped like 6 dudes in our apt. building alone. ......easy pickinz. - Thu, 20 Jan 2005 10:43pm | ||
| Don Cherry User Info... | Here's an oldie but a goodie. What do you get when you hit a baby in the head with a hammer? An erection!! - Thu, 10 Feb 2005 1:12am | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | Ewww, do reveal the secret of this masked Thrifty Employee...c'mon, just a first name and which store...nasty, wouldn't doubt it. Did you get a piece of this "Thrifty's customer service" too? - Thu, 10 Feb 2005 11:17am | ||
| jackass User Info... | an old one... So this dude is standing at the ol Pearly Gates and St. Whatshisname says, alright tell me about your last moments of life. Dude says, "well, I was pretty sure my wife was cheating on me, so I came home early from work to catch her in the act. I rushed home and up to my 40th floor apartment and burst in, but all I saw was my wife standing there naked looking surprised. Now, I'm damn sure there's someone else in the house, so I look all over but can't find anybody, until I go out on the patio and see someone hanging by his fingertips. I run back in, grab a hammer and start smashing fingers until the guy falls, but the guy falls onto some bushes and doesn't die. I'm furious, so I go back into the house and push the refrigerator out onto the patio and over, it falls on the guy still lying in the bushes and squishes him right dead. My wife is mental at this point, hits me in the head with the hammer and throws me over, and here I am. Bad fucking day." St. Whatshisname says, "yep, that's a bad day alright, go on in." To the next guy in line he says, "tell me about your last moments of life," to which the guy replies: "well, I'm up on my 41st floor patio doing some yoga outside, when I accidentally fall over the railing and fall. Luckily, I manage to grab hold of the patio right below me, but then some crazy fucker comes out and smashes my fingers with a hammer, and I fall to the ground and land in some bushes. Luckily I didn't die, but then the crazy bugger throws a refrigerator on top of me, and here I am!" St. Whatshisname chuckles and agrees that he's had some bad luck, and lets him in. He says to the next guy in line, "tell me about your last moments of life." The guy says, "well picture this...I'm naked, hiding in a refrigerator..." - Thu, 10 Feb 2005 12:23pm | ||
| jackass User Info... | so these two sausages are frying in a pan beside each other, and it's hot, really hot. Grease is flying everywhere, it's freakin HOT. One sausage looks over at the other sausage and says, "hot enough for you?" and the other sausage says, "HOLY SHIT A TALKING SAUSAGE" - Thu, 10 Feb 2005 12:34pm | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | I've never laughed as hard as I just did...not bad... - Thu, 10 Feb 2005 12:58pm | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | A construction worker comes home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. Incensed, he drags the man out to the garage and puts his cock in a vise. He secures it and removes the handle, then picks up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screams, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to...to...cut it off, are you?! The husband shakes his head and hands him the hacksaw. . . . . . . . . . . ."Nope - you are. I'm just going to set the garage on fire." - Thu, 10 Feb 2005 1:14pm | ||
| WILLEM User Info... | Whats the fastest way to smoke a Dimebag? With a nine mili-meter yo. - Thu, 10 Feb 2005 1:31pm | ||
| WILLEM User Info... | Sorry I should not say that sorta shit, bad joke... - Thu, 10 Feb 2005 1:32pm | ||
| wanless User Info... | don't worry about the dimebag joke, i thought it was funny, and im a very big fan of pantera. Anyways, So micheal jackson and his wife have a baby, a lovely boy. But micheal is a little worried about something so he asks the docter. "Doc, this might seem a little inapropriate, but how long do we have to wait until we can have sex?" - - - - - - - - - - - "please michael, wait until he's at least 12!" - Thu, 10 Feb 2005 3:25pm | ||
| ODIN User Info... | what did Himmler say to Hitler? . . . . . . . . . .. . .. .. . . . . you should have told me you were coming over, I would have baked you a kike. - Wed, 16 Feb 2005 10:25pm | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | Is it wrong that I loved that joke?! Almost spat my coffee all over the screen... - Thu, 17 Feb 2005 12:06pm | ||
| Kimberleykaos User Info... | Two prostitutes are standing on a corner. One says to the other, "Ever been picked up by the fuzz?" . . . . . . . . . . The other replies, "No, but I've been swung around by the tits." - Thu, 17 Feb 2005 12:27pm | ||
| Isolation Ride User Info... | What does a whore and KFC have in common? They both have legs,breasts,thighs,and a greasy box to put your bones in. - Thu, 17 Feb 2005 4:39pm | ||
| ODIN User Info... | haha ok i have another one... what's the difference between period blood and sand? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . you can't gargle sand ;) - Thu, 17 Feb 2005 6:33pm | ||
| SickFuk User Info... | Qhy do they call it a period when it's at the beginnning of a sentence?...{:) 'ere - Thu, 17 Feb 2005 7:30pm | ||
| ODIN User Info... | Top Ten Pick Up Lines Women Should Use 10. Wanna come play on my slip and slide? 9. If you were a naval captain, would you let me inspect your seamen? 8. This bra is so tight its uncomfortable. 7. You must know a good rain dance, cuz you’re making me wet. 6. Excuse me my lipstick rolled underneath your seat, mind if I get under you? 5. I was thinking of volunteering at the fire department, could I practice sliding down your pole? 4. How many licks does it take to get to the center of your tootsie pop? 3. Stick it in!! 2. Either I just spilled my drink in my lap or I’m really happy to see you. 1. Your face reminds me of a La-Z –Boy, I could sit on it all day long! .... i like the second to last one :) - Fri, 18 Feb 2005 8:38pm | ||
| Kenny Rogers User Info... | Hey, i just read over the jokes. Theres some good ones, but heres another baby joke my friend told me. Whats the difference between a baby, and a trampoline?? . . . . . . . . . You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline. - Fri, 18 Feb 2005 8:51pm | ||
| ODIN User Info... | hahaha you also don't bounce as high... not speaking from experience of course. A husband said to his wife, "I will take a photo of your breasts and frame it ." The wife said to her husband, "I will take a photo of your penis and enlarge it." - Fri, 18 Feb 2005 9:28pm | ||
| ODIN User Info... | that one was good but this one is better... There was this man walking on the beach and he found a bottle. He rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant you 3 wishes." The man said, "No Shit!" Then he all of a sudden had to use the bathroom but couldn't because there was a big cork in his ass. - Fri, 18 Feb 2005 9:34pm | ||
| Broccoli User Info... | Why did the Natives move out of the outhouse? . . . . . . . 'Cause the Rednecks down below were making too much noise - Wed, 23 Feb 2005 10:09am | ||
| Luc User Info... | A man walks into a bar! OUCH! A baby seal walks into a club! OUCH! - Wed, 23 Feb 2005 10:14am | ||
| BBJones User Info... | Ahhh dead baby jokes... How did the dead baby cross the road? . . . . . . Stapled to the chicken. What is red and squirms in the corner? . . . . . . A baby playing with a razor blade. What is green and sits in the corner? . . . . . . Same baby, two weeks later. What's brown and bubbly and scratches at the window? . . . . . . A baby in a microwave. - Thu, 24 Feb 2005 2:27pm | ||
| Doppelganger User Info... | How many musicians does it take to tell a dumb drummer joke? None! - Sun, 13 Mar 2005 10:23am | ||
| SickFuk User Info... | 100!!... yoink Why are singers the only musicians that should be let out in public? Cuz guitarists stroke too much, drummers beat their four skins.....us singers just keep on screaming at 'em for it hoping to teach them some manners 'ere - Sun, 13 Mar 2005 2:51pm | ||
| PrincessP User Info... | How many germans does it take to screw in a light bulb 'nien' ( my best internet german accent) - Sun, 13 Mar 2005 4:00pm | ||
| hellsthunder User Info... | Whats the difference between a picture of Jesus and Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus - Fri, 18 Mar 2005 2:10am | ||
| Brandon User Info... | I may have been late on this or didnt read the post through enough, Whats the worst thing about being a rollerblader???? Telling your dad that you are gay - Sat, 2 Apr 2005 2:10am | ||
| Doppelganger User Info... | What Happens when The Pope diez? Up Pope's another one! - Sat, 2 Apr 2005 2:00pm | ||
| Ryan_Cynic User Info... | Whats the difference between a lanford girl and a kit-kat bar ? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . You only get 4 fingers in a kit-kat bar ! - Sun, 3 Apr 2005 12:25am | ||
| gene User Info... | why did the american trade his wife for an outhouse? cause the hole was smaller and it smelled better. - Tue, 5 Apr 2005 12:47pm | ||
| ROSS B AY User Info... | The Texan and his new bride go on their honeymoon. Upon arrival at the hotel, the hick says to the desk attendant - "we's on our honamoon, son." The clerk says "well, congratulations, would you like the bridal?". The hick thinks for a second, and says "Naw, I'll just hold on to her ears 'til she gits used to it". - Fri, 8 Apr 2005 4:49pm | ||
| Masturbating The War God User Info... | How do you get a Langford girl pregnant? . . . . . . . . . . . Cum on the ground and let the flies do the rest. How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? . . . . . . . . . "Let's go ride bikes guys!" - Sat, 9 Apr 2005 6:11pm | ||
| Brandon User Info... | HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH - Sun, 10 Apr 2005 2:45pm | ||
| gino User Info... | dude come home from work one day and his sqwa is freakin out. he says "whats up?" she says "the news is saying that you are a pedophile???" and he says "wow! thats a big word for a 5 year old. - Tue, 12 Apr 2005 10:22am | ||
| Mr. Chkrlc User Info... | Whats the difference between cutting open an onion and cutting open a baby? . . . . . . . . . You cry when you cut open the onion. - Wed, 20 Apr 2005 11:47pm | ||
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