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True Black Metal
| Message Board > Controversy and Quarantine > True Black Metal |
| Akylore User Info... | This is fucking hilarious.... http://www.zone.ee/blackmetal - Tue, 24 Feb 2004 7:28am | ||
| Perpetual_Burn User Info... | I haven't laughed that hard in a while, especially at the side notes. - Tue, 24 Feb 2004 7:59am | ||
| Mutilashawn User Info... | "Cover your entire face with white paint, or if you want to prove to everyone how true you are, paint your entire body white. But remember: you will never be as white as Varg. Now use black paint to draw a mopy face on yourself. Add a couple of pentagrams, an inverted cross or a tic tac toe or something." Troo nekro kvlt methul - Tue, 24 Feb 2004 8:43am | ||
| masturbating the war god User Info... | Note: Dimmu Borgir sucks ass. Never admit that you have had any influence whatsoever from this band. Whuahaha! Great site, made my day, funny shit. At the bottom of ALL of the pages it says in small print... Dani filth sucks ass AHAHAHA, fucking wicked! - Tue, 24 Feb 2004 8:59am | ||
| Nik Olaz User Info... | Wow i'm skinny enough to be troo (or maybe even kvlt!) - Tue, 24 Feb 2004 9:02am | ||
| jay brown User Info... | holy fuck that was brilliant... - Tue, 24 Feb 2004 12:42pm | ||
| ROSS B AY User Info... | wuts blak medal? - Wed, 25 Feb 2004 3:23am | ||
| Zippgunn User Info... | Hilarious. it figures that the site is available in English and..... Estonian! - Wed, 25 Feb 2004 8:49am | ||
| Akylore User Info... | "Don�t sell more than 50 copies of any one record. It is of utmost importance that no more than fifty copies of any of your records ever reach the market. If you betray that black metal law, you are no longer true or elite and you are lumped together with Cradle Of Filth. You don�t want that, do you? You must also stop selling your album three weeks after its release. This way it will become an underground �kvlt� and becomes a collector�s item." "When giving an interview, you must announce that your music is �true Norwegian black metal�, or �elite pagan black metal� and that your music is an ancient symphonic powerful brutal evil and godless attack against the oppressing church. You must then immediately add a comment about the sell-outishness of Dimmu Borgir and Cradle of Filth. Now is the opportunity to name a couple of random unknown bands as your main influence, but also add Mayhem, Emperor and �old� (that is, �true�) Bathory. Don�t forget to mention that you have connection to the �inner circle� of black metal. That gives an even more malignant impression of you." AHAHAHAHA.....shit, that's just too good.... - Wed, 25 Feb 2004 11:06am | ||
| ROSS B AY User Info... | Are they like this? I;ve known punkers and metalheads that behave this way too... - Wed, 25 Feb 2004 12:02pm | ||
| FeLiXtheCaT User Info... | everyone seems to miss the most important peice of information given on the site: Dani filth sucks ass! lol. - Wed, 25 Feb 2004 4:27pm | ||
| KnifeGhost User Info... | Yeah!! Black metal!! Living Color is the shit...... - Wed, 25 Feb 2004 4:30pm | ||
| Matt User Info... | 22 RULES OF BLACK METAL 1. During interviews, you express your "misanthropy" at the world. 2. You dismiss Anton LaVey ( Church of Satan founder ) as a " Hollywood Satanist ". 3. Your early demos must have no production values whatsoever, you later claim this was done to acheive a "necrotic" sound. 4. You hate the previous two Burzum albums because they are totally electronic. 5. You dismiss Cradle of Filth as "McDonalds Black Metal" because they're signed to sony. 6. You have recorded at least one of your albums in the Edvard Greig Memorial Hall. 7. You use the words "nocturnal" and "winter" at least once in every song. 8. At least one of your promo shots depicts your vocalist holding a Norwegian flag. 9. Your songs aren't satanic, they are based on pagan/viking mythology. 10. You have conspired to burn a church at least once. 11. Find four to five members of the d&d club.(make sure to find one who can play keybaords) 12.Change your name to gorgoth darksoul, or something equally scary and dark. 13.Wear lots of hoaky-looking corpse paint...yaknow, to have a scary image. 14. As a black metal band, black leather is your best friend. You will learn to love it. 15. Design your logo with an unreadable style of writing. It's just cooler that way. 16. Use lots of choir style samples, in all your songs, for theat epic black feel. 17. When in interveiws, express your love for classical music, and scores(even if you don't, cause all black metal bands think they are really intelligent.) 18. Use dark words to describe everyhting(i.e. necro) 19. make sure you are either covered in blood, or in the woods for all photo sessions. 20. Make shirts that have no real connection with the band, only to be offensive. 21. Use lots of foul language when on stage. 22. write music about how god sucks so much, and satan rules. - Wed, 25 Feb 2004 4:36pm | ||
| gaygoroth User Info... | Here is the most NOT NICE* site on the web: http://www.neovoid.org/deathkristjan/ They are the tr00ist kV|t band in the former soviet union. They make Darkthrone look like Cradle of Filth. Yes, that's how underground they are. *or evil as we say in Canada - Fri, 27 Feb 2004 6:50am | ||
| [+} User Info... | Never can the same musicians record more than one full album. This is all to make people understand that you are so incredibly wicked that you can�t get along with anyone. You must also bear in mind the fact that no elite black metaller is in just one band. You must have as much side projects as is demonically possible. quality! HA! >> You also cannot like any bands on the gig, especially if they are local bands. Except for your own, obviously, which is the best in the world, or at least in Scandinavia. Actually living in Scandinavia is not necessary for that to be true. - Fri, 27 Feb 2004 12:11pm | ||
| Mutilashawn User Info... | I think that band Antievangelist falls under all the requirements. Damn they are tr00 (and possibly even Kvlt). - Fri, 27 Feb 2004 3:21pm | ||
| D�d[]Sanger User Info... | *clears Throat* It's pronounced "Troo" Thank you very much. ;) - Fri, 5 Mar 2004 1:19pm | ||
| ROSS B AY User Info... | tROO and possibly even kvlt? man that's pretty...uhh....what does that mean again? - Fri, 5 Mar 2004 5:18pm | ||
| Matt User Info... | errr.....uhhhh...Tr00 KVLT BLAK METHUL!!!!!! (when in doubt) - Sat, 6 Mar 2004 2:11am | ||
| Mest User Info... | boo black metal - Fri, 12 Mar 2004 3:33pm | ||
| Nik Olaz User Info... | thats not very reliable, i mean c'mon man you're a Mest fan...why the hell should people take your advice? - Sun, 14 Mar 2004 6:54pm | ||
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