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Sept. 19: Talk Like a Pirate Day
| Message Board > General Chitchat > Sept. 19: Talk Like a Pirate Day |
| Pooetry User Info... | Please kill me. Sun, Sep. 08, 2002, Miami Herald Arrrrr! Talk like a pirate -- or prepare to be boarded DAVE BARRY Every now and then, some visionary individuals come along with a concept that is so original and so revolutionary that your immediate reaction is: ``Those individuals should be on medication.'' Today I want to tell you about two such people, John Baur and Mark Summers, who have come up with a concept that is going to make you kick yourself for not thinking of it first: Talk Like a Pirate Day. As the name suggests, this is a day on which everybody would talk like a pirate. Is that a great idea, or what? There are so many practical benefits that I can't even begin to list them all. Baur and Summers came up with this idea a few years ago. They were playing racquetball, and, as so often happens, they began talking like pirates. And then it struck them: Why not have a day when EVERYBODY talks like a pirate? They decided that the logical day would be Sept. 19, because that -- as you are no doubt aware -- is Summers' ex-wife's birthday. Since then, Baur and Summers have made a near-superhuman effort to promote Talk Like a Pirate Day. As Baur puts it: ``We've talked like pirates, and encouraged our several friends to, every Sept. 19, except for a couple where we forgot.'' And yet, incredibly, despite this well-orchestrated campaign, the nation has turned a deaf shoulder to Talk Like a Pirate Day. In desperation, Baur and Summers turned to me for help. As an influential newspaper columnist, I have the power to ''make or break'' a national day. You may recall that almost nobody celebrated Thanksgiving until I began writing about it in the 1970s. I have given Baur's and Summers' idea serious thought, looking for ways to improve it. One variation I considered was Talk Like a Member of the Lollipop Guild Day, on which everybody would talk like the three Munchkins in the film version of The Wizard of Oz who welcome Dorothy to Munchkin Land by singing with one corner of their mouths drooping down, as though they have large invisible dental suction devices hanging from their lips. But I realized that would be stupid. So I have decided to throw my full support behind Talk Like a Pirate Day, to be observed this Sept. 19. To help promote this important cause, I have decided to seek the endorsement of famous celebrities, and I am pleased to report that, as of today, Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, Britney Spears, Brad Pitt, Oprah Winfrey, the Osbournes, Tiger Woods, Ted Koppel, the Sopranos, Puff Doody and the late Elvis Presley are all people who I hope will read this column and become big supporters. I see no need to recruit President Bush, because he already talks like a pirate, as we can see from this transcript of a recent White House press conference: REPORTER: Could you please explain either your foreign or your domestic policy? PRESIDENT BUSH: Arrrrr. To prepare for Talk Like a Pirate Day, you should practice incorporating pirate terminology into your everyday speech. For example, let's consider a typical conversation between two co-workers in a business office: BOB: Hi. Mary. MARY: Hi, Bob. Have you had a chance to look at the Fennerman contract? BOB: Yes, and I have some suggestions. MARY: OK, I'll review them. Now let's see how this same conversation would sound on Talk Like a Pirate Day: BOB: Avast, me beauty. MARY: Avast, Bob. Is that a yardarm in your doubloons, or are you just glad to see me? BOB: You are giving me the desire to haul some keel. MARY: Arrrrr. As you can see, talking like a pirate will infuse your everyday conversations with romance and danger. So join the movement! On Sept. 19, do not answer the phone with ''hello.'' Answer the phone with ''Ahoy me hearty!'' If the caller objects that he is not a hearty, inform him that he is a scurvy dog (or, if the caller is female, a scurvy female dog) who will be walking the plank off the poop deck and winding up in Davy Jones' locker, sleeping with the fishes. No, wait, that would be Talk Like a Pirate in The Godfather Day, which is another variation I considered (``I'm gonna make him an offer that will shiver his timbers''). But the point is, this is a great idea, and you, me bucko, should be part of it. Join us on Sept. 19. You HAVE the buckles, darn it: Don't be afraid to swash them! Let's make this into a grass-roots movement that sweeps the nation, like campaign-finance reform, or Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I truly think this idea could bring us, as a nation, closer together. But not TOO much closer. Some of us will have swords. - Sun, 14 Sep 2003 3:54pm | ||
| FeLiXtheCaT User Info... | that sounds stupid, yet fun at the same time. if they had that day here, i'd do it. i also dress up. lol. american's are still ever-more stupid. - Mon, 15 Sep 2003 2:14pm | ||
| jen User Info... | bahaha. i liked that joke. good times - Mon, 15 Sep 2003 2:58pm | ||
| KnifeGhost User Info... | Fuck it, every day should be Talk Like A Pirate Day...... I mean.... Arrrrrr... - Tue, 16 Sep 2003 1:25am | ||
| Gabri~hell User Info... | I'm with KnifeGhost on this one. Swashbuckling on a daily basis = good. - Tue, 16 Sep 2003 12:51pm | ||
| S.V. User Info... | That was classic!!! I like to sing like a pirate spontaneously too, especially at inappropriate moments. :) There's a bit of swashbuckler in the hearts of all of us methinks...arrrr fuck kill ;) - Wed, 17 Sep 2003 1:12pm | ||
| jepsycho User Info... | Only 2 days away!!!!!! I hope everyone is practicing! - Wed, 17 Sep 2003 2:36pm | ||
| Pooetry User Info... | Argh and ahoy, Scurvy Dog (Jess) and Scallywag (Jay). Let's Rock N Bowl soon, laddies. Friday? I'll scuttle you both and hang ye from the yardarm even if it means I have to hornswaggle. Ye'll be hanging the jib. Damn straight, Jimmy crack corn! Yarrrr, maties! - Wed, 17 Sep 2003 3:07pm | ||
| The Mad Subwoofer User Info... | "Arrr, fuck, kill!" Bahahahaaa! Brian W. kinda does look like an old sea dog doesn't he? too funny..I'm in. - Wed, 17 Sep 2003 6:33pm | ||
| jepsycho User Info... | Arr Pooetry I am working nights now arrrrggghh. Sunday/Monday are my days off. Retro bowl is Sunday. Where is Leroy? Call me - Thu, 18 Sep 2003 12:53am | ||
| Pooetry User Info... | Yarr, fair lady! It seems Leroy and his shipmate (his 4 year old kid) ran out of treasures (money) somewhere near Drumheller. I'm guessing that's because cog (old Dodge Ram) pillaged their gas. I guess they wanted to make a pit stop in Drumheller to go visit the dinosaurs (that's not very pirate-like, is it?), but abandoned the route and are headed back for homeland. From what it sounds like, the long hauls in the truck were too much for the kid, so they had to stop a lot more often than anticipated. Consequently, they had to spend more money on that too, I think. I dunno when he'll get his ass out here. - Thu, 18 Sep 2003 1:39am | ||
| dave User Info... | Let's have a list of pirate lingo as a final warm up for Friday. - Thu, 18 Sep 2003 2:29pm | ||
| dave User Info... | Arrr Me hearty shiver me timbers walkin the plank keel haul scurvy - Thu, 18 Sep 2003 2:39pm | ||
| jepsycho User Info... | DAMN HIM!!! I was totally looking forward to seeing him and meeting Kieren for the first time :( I am so disappointed I just can't pirate speak So wanna retro bowl Sunday? PS It's Pirates EVE! - Thu, 18 Sep 2003 5:07pm | ||
| Wreaker of Havoc User Info... | Bend yer knees and touch ye toes I'll show ye where the fishstick goes... arrrrrr - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 12:08am | ||
| Mr. Hell User Info... | Make me a samich and fetch me a beer, Now that ye said your piece, I know ye be queer...arrrrr. - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 7:13am | ||
| S.V. User Info... | Avast ye salty dogs! Come lower yer topsails and brail up yer mizzens. Pass the cup o' maggot-ridden grog an' snort yerself a pinch o' fine snuff! Sail the seas for American gold! Embrace yer inner pirate, ya scurvy devils! Some people have waaay too much time on their hands...including me ;) http://www.talklikeapirate.com/ - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 11:07am | ||
| METALNECK User Info... | This actually sounds pretty fun. if I start hearing people around me talk like pirates, I will join in. Yeah I am a follower. - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 11:18am | ||
| MWPR User Info... | Yarrrrr ye scurvy dogs. What better way to celebrate talk like a pyrate day than a grog (free guinness tasting) and pyrate(ish) hornypipes etc night of pillaging. McGillicddys half way to St Paddy's Day party at Fat Tuesdays... as close to pyrate music , as you can get, no cover so ye don't have to spend yer hard won dubloons, grog, wenches, grog and mates(whatever a Male wench be, yarrrrr)and grog. Cap'n Mike - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 12:44pm | ||
| Ian User Info... | Yaaahhharrr!! I almost forgot bout that thar portrait (click on MWPRs user profile above). That was a grand night of plundering. As ye can see in the background we even managed to get a 60" LCD TV in our treasures. yarrharharhar - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 1:21pm | ||
| Waldo User Info... | Yeah Pirates! High noon, saddle up the ol' hoss, git them dawgies rollin and all that shit! Sweet! - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 3:45pm | ||
| S.V. User Info... | Does this mean the McG's are considering their pirate schtick for tonight?? Are those Irish Dancers joining you again? They were great. - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 4:29pm | ||
| Ian User Info... | Yarr Irish Dancers there will be, on the morrow. - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 4:45pm | ||
| Pooetry User Info... | Chips ahoy and avast, mateys! In spirit of this day, me will be drinkin' the grog. By the end of the night, I'll be a big blubbering slob. Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day, all! Aye aye and good-bye! - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 5:37pm | ||
| Brandon User Info... | i dont think anyone used "land lubbers" thats hardcore pirate - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 5:42pm | ||
| Masturbating The War God User Info... | ARRR! Today I scurried and swapped some poop decks. I hate the sea and everything in it. - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 6:16pm | ||
| Bloody Bess Kidd User Info... | Yarrr again, rascals! Me gone and discovered this here treasure. Figure out your pirate name. http://www.fidius.org/quiz/pirate.php Mine's as stated above. MWG: Blasphemy! Walk the plank and feed the sharks! Be gone with ye! - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 7:06pm | ||
| METALNECK User Info... | I am the Dread Pirate Kidd. I dunno kinda boring, but a great McGillicuddys metal cross name. - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 9:14pm | ||
| Masturbating The War God User Info... | Iron Bess Kidd Yaya, it was a Simpsons quote, now who should walk the plank!! Run for cover you cowering muppet! - Fri, 19 Sep 2003 10:52pm | ||
| jepsycho User Info... | Dirty Bess Flint - Sat, 20 Sep 2003 9:05am | ||
| Pooetry User Info... | Sept. 19 was by far one of the funnest days of the year, despite the fact that no one at school could figure out why I kept talking like a pirate. - Sat, 20 Sep 2003 12:37pm | ||
| Tito Santana User Info... | dreamy. - Sat, 20 Sep 2003 8:51pm | ||
| Knoblin User Info... | Who is a pirate's favourite action hero? Arrrrnold Schwarrrrzenegarrrrrrrrrrr...... - Sun, 21 Sep 2003 2:14am | ||
| pooetry User Info... | Enchanting. - Sun, 21 Sep 2003 1:39pm | ||
| pube beard the haggard User Info... | Being a lifelong pirate i am ashamed to see this little pirate fad sringing up. If you really liked pirates it wouldn't stop at one day. Whats next viking day or *shudder* ninja day. Frick you pozers. On another note, anyone want to start a buttpirate club? Death to all Authority!! Check this out; http://www.realultimatepower.net/ - Mon, 22 Sep 2003 11:17am | ||
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