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Hobo Street Fights: Battle for the Streets of Victoria
| Message Board > General Chitchat > Hobo Street Fights: Battle for the Streets of Victoria |
| Platoon User Info... |  The combatants: Hobo Billy: Hobo Billy is defined by his 6'2 height, lean build, gray/silver beard and hair and his enormous fucking backpack of which contains all of his worldly possessions which included his newly mortgaged Tarp. Hobo Jimi Wilson: Old JW is staggering around the most and seems to have his motor skills affected the most severely, 'Must have been that last hit of Glue Stick Billy!' Jimi Wilson weighs the most and is about 5'11 with long dark hair, dark scraggly beard, Pilsner gut, and black baseball hat. The third combatant is none other than Hobart: Hobart is too fucked up to do much. Hobart moves very slowly and thinks very slowly. Hobart is 6'0 and very confused. So on with it now. The streets are set and the Car horn sounds. Were off to round I Jimi Wilson and Hobart begin the round with a warm drunken hobo hug that quickly turns into a ballroom dance version of the Bear Hug. Jimi sweeps Hobart off his feet and Hobart nearly loses his balance. Jimi lets Hobart go and snatches Hobarts bus schedule from out of his hands and procedes to tear it up into pieces so small Doogie Howser's scalpel couldn't cut it up any smaller. Winner: Jimi Wilson by Bear Hug and Snatch and Bully taunt. Round II Watching from the middle of the fucking street is stoner Hobo Billy. Hobo Billy advances into the urban octagon and taunts Jimi Wilson with a kick to the junk. Jimi Wilson hops up on his toes like a ballerina and starts doing grindcore inhales of pain. Winner: Hobo Billy by kick to the junk Round III Jimi Wilson makes a quick retreat back to his street corner for a quick regrouping of his thoughts. After losing his concentration to Hobo Billy's slurred threats of further 'kicks to the balls' Jimi Wilson stumbles over to meet his molester. With lighting quick speed, Hobo Billy dismounts his 12 tonne back pack of life and launches a darting kick back to Jimi Wilson's junk. Feeling unencumbered now that the weight of the world is off his shoulders, Hobo Billy grabs Jimi Wilson by the his long greasy black hair and smashes him to the ground face first. Hobo Billy continues his Hobo Hoe Down of Pain on Jimi Wilson with kicks to his prostrate ass, kicks to the thighs, and a big smacking kick to Jimi Wilson's forehead. Winner: Hobo Billy by Hobo Hoe Down of Pain manoevre - Wed, 12 Apr 2006 10:20am Edited: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 10:28am | ||
| Inhalien User Info... | That's good times! - Wed, 12 Apr 2006 2:12pm Edited: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 2:12pm | ||
| Andy McBeer User Info... | Once when I was spending some time on the street in Van I saw two hobos get into a belt fight because one of them tried panhandling on the other's corner.... - Wed, 12 Apr 2006 6:29pm Edited: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 6:30pm | ||
| Eurydice User Info... | you're an idiot - Wed, 12 Apr 2006 6:45pm Edited: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 6:45pm | ||
| Andy McBeer User Info... | I'm an idiot because I witnessed something? That's some bent logic. - Wed, 12 Apr 2006 8:23pm Edited: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 8:23pm | ||
| Platoon User Info... | A belt fight hahaha - Wed, 12 Apr 2006 9:57pm Edited: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 9:57pm | ||
| Andy McBeer User Info... | Dude it was crazy... it was like they knew the protocol for a belt duel. They both immediately dropped their change-filled hats and backed away from eachother so they could undo their belts, whipped them out, wrapped one end around their hands and then they started whacking eachother with the buckle end... it was great because they'd try to grab the other guy's belt but only get hit in the knuckles and shit. Eventually the one who "intruded" on the other's territory retreated after scooping up his hat. Oh yeah, did I mention his pants were starting to fall down? And before you guys start flaming me for my disrespect of homeless people, I witnessed this while I myself was panhandling. I was just as homeless as they were. - Wed, 12 Apr 2006 10:40pm Edited: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 10:43pm | ||
| Nik Olaz User Info... | I think Eurydice was talking not to you. http://ia300127.us.archive.org/2/items/700HoboNames/Hobo_Names.mp3 - Wed, 12 Apr 2006 10:53pm Edited: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 10:55pm | ||
| al User Info... | Instead of say, National Geographic channel or Discovery Channel, they should have the Hobo channel. - Thu, 13 Apr 2006 6:05am Edited: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 6:07am | ||
| Platoon User Info... | Ahh that is a good one Andy, never seen that before! heheh. - Thu, 13 Apr 2006 9:35am Edited: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 9:36am | ||
| Andy McBeer User Info... | I wasn't sure if he was talking to me... I just assumed he was since it was after a post I made. I listened to your link, Nik... did it say Dee Snider, Sir-Mix-A-Lot and Nick Nolte in there somewhere? - Thu, 13 Apr 2006 11:03am Edited: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 11:08am | ||
| _Griphin_ User Info... | Heh... - Thu, 13 Apr 2006 11:50am Edited: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 11:50am | ||
| You Enjoy Myself User Info... | Of course the hobos all knew the protocol for a belt fight. It's in the hobo's handbook, which every hobo is given when he/she starts living on the street. It also makes a great pillow. - Thu, 13 Apr 2006 9:22pm Edited: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 9:23pm | ||
| Nik Olaz User Info... | I think so. Some of those names go by so fast. - Thu, 13 Apr 2006 10:20pm Edited: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 10:20pm | ||
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