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fuck having an election. this guy is our new leader.
| Message Board > General Chitchat > fuck having an election. this guy is our new leader. |
| el fuckface-o User Info... | the words of our next prime minister, mr. maddox and his campaign promises. if you're not with us, you're beaten to death. i am the sole campaign contributor, therefore when he is elected, i will be appointed silent punisher, er prime minister. vote regressive and see your life go back to being how it was before all these bleeding heart fags came around with their wimpy rhetoric and overly sensitive sympathy for the "less fortunate". pay close attention: Looking for a safe stance on abortion? Me neither. I'm tired of political candidates pussy-footing delicately around the issue of abortion. Every time I turn on the TV, there's always some group of hippies protesting "for choice" or "for life." Each group pisses the other off, and no candidate will take a strong enough stance on the issue of abortion, so I've decided to form a political party of my own: The Regressive Party I have a different stance on abortion: I'm AGAINST abortion, but FOR killing babies. That way everyone loses, and I win. I'm neither pro choice, nor pro life; I'm pro you-shutting-the-hell-up. The only way I'd be "pro choice" is if it meant I could choose which babies I could abort, and only then if I could lift the age restriction to 80. I was at this mall the other day watching some shitty documentary when I came out of the theater and saw old people dancing to country music in the courtyard. I couldn't remember the last time I saw a group of people begging this hard to be aborted. Here is where I stand on other issues: -No protests. Under my government, there will be no assembly, peaceful or otherwise: Why does everyone always sing the praises of civil disobedience? What good did it do for Gandhi? He's dead. What the hell is civil disobedience anyway? You can add the word "civil" to any crime (and yes, protesting is a crime, or will be if I'm elected in office), and suddenly it has a positive connotation? What next, civil first degree felony with aggravated assault? What's worse is that these black-foots stink up the streets with their VW bugs and harass the officers just trying to crack some skull. Which leads me to my next point: -No more police. Police officers will be replaced with a strike force with the ability to tap into your phone conversations, spy on your Internet connection, arrest you for no reason or any reason at all, and interrogate you behind closed doors during secret hearings. It'll be awesome, and if anyone complains, they will be labeled unpatriotic. The beauty of it is that people won't protest because protesters will be victims of police brutality. The reason I say victims is because the punishment for the crime of brutalizing police would be murder. It's the criminals who need to be brutalized, not the police. -Vampire hunting will be a government sanctioned profession. Seriously. I can't stand vampires and people who claim to be them. If there are real vampires, then there should be real vampire hunters. I don't have a beef with Mr. Tepes because I think we can all agree that impaling 20,000 people on stakes as a negotiating tactic is sufficiently awesome. What I have a problem with are these 14 year old losers who hang out at raves wearing prosthetic fangs, listening to obnoxious happy-hardcore dancing with giant platform shoes (courtesy of "Hot Topic," because all vampires shop at trendy clothing stores for their pre-packaged sub-culture needs). When they're not busy doing the dishes for their allowance, they're out doing evil things like smoking, staying up past curfew, or reading books on the occult at Barnes & Noble. They join little "sanguinarian" clubs and they change their names to something adequately evil like Raven, Ivy or Memnoch. These are the same people who say they laugh during dramas when someone gets killed. We all know a person like this, they think they're morbid and mysterious because they force out a contrived chuckle during a death scene. Oooh, you laughed during a murder, you're so unique and evil. The fact that the number of members in these stupid clubs surge every time a new "Blade" movie comes out eludes them. Who has time for things like facts and responsibility when you're busy "feeding" yourself by having orgies that give you magical powers? Idiots. -Ska is banned. Nobody listens to ska. That's pretty much it. Oh yeah, I was going to write about how I was going to take away women's right to vote, but that one is pretty obvious since nobody wants women to vote, except for women, and they don't count. there you queers have it. vote regressive and see the world improve back to how it was. - Mon, 3 May 2004 2:24pm | ||
| Hendrix User Info... | Wow, you're an idiot...Tons of people listen to Ska. - Mon, 3 May 2004 3:11pm | ||
| Six String Samurai User Info... | It took you about two days to write all that didn't it? Funny person or asshole? well you can dismiss funny altogether. - Mon, 3 May 2004 3:19pm | ||
| Demen Ted User Info... | Oi oi, as starter of the asshole/funny debate, I vote simply lovely. The baby killing comment is great. I think that would scare a lot of idiots straight, with the whole super police force idea... Hmmm... Interesting, thanks! Dan Conner - Mon, 3 May 2004 3:31pm | ||
| Perpetual_Burn User Info... | Maddox is my Hero. I've reading stuff on his site forever, hence my pic. I hate Julia Roberts...... - Mon, 3 May 2004 4:13pm | ||
| Curmudgeon Rocker User Info... | I know some aborted vampires who listen to ska, thank-you very much. - Mon, 3 May 2004 6:25pm | ||
| Helonwheels User Info... | I don't know about all of you but I feel all hot inside. Ohhh you El Fuckface-o, rooooaarrr. - Mon, 3 May 2004 6:44pm | ||
| el fuckface-o User Info... | hendicks: Wow, you're an idiot...Tons of people listen to Ska. no shit, sherlog. that's why it's to be banned. the comment was aimed at having no one listen to ska. now we know that you are one of the slowest people on the board. you'd be better off as a skeleton like your namesake. and probably just as smart and witty as well. Six String Samurai: It took you about two days to write all that didn't it? no. it took me about two seconds to copy and paste it from maddox's campaign page. i didn't type it, mime-stein. Funny person or asshole? well you can dismiss funny altogether. have another spoonful of strained squash, you newborn-faced mistake. if i was trying to be funny, you'd know it because it would bitchslap you upside your empty head. but calling me an asshole. well that is some innovative insulting. now i sob myself to sleep in my overflowing vault. - Tue, 4 May 2004 12:37pm | ||
| Mike User Info... | what about gay rights parades? So far I like what fuckface posted. - Wed, 5 May 2004 1:12pm | ||
| Mi*coll* User Info... | HAHAHA!! that is funny shit. - Wed, 5 May 2004 5:41pm | ||
| Troutbreath User Info... | "now i sob myself to sleep in my overflowing vault" El-Fuckface-O = Scrooge McDuck? It would explain a few things. - Thu, 6 May 2004 4:52am | ||
| Curmudgeon Rocker User Info... | I think El Fuckfaceo is Alex Robertson, the CHEK 6 sports guy, actually. - Thu, 6 May 2004 1:06pm | ||
| el fuckface-o User Info... | i think curmudgeon rocker is an expired, used douche, actually. sports are for ball touchers like you. - Thu, 6 May 2004 1:10pm | ||
| Instrument of Karma User Info... | Excellent... Finally some signs of intelligence. Don't forget to eviscerate all crackwhores...with the exception of your mom, of course. (Subtle jab) - Thu, 6 May 2004 9:52pm | ||
| Curmudgeon Rocker User Info... | Too bad, El Fuckfaceo, that you're WAAAYY too frail and beat-upable for sports. Pathetic. My real identity actually is Charles Kuralt. - Fri, 7 May 2004 3:32am | ||
| One Divided User Info... | "I couldn't remember the last time I saw a group of people begging this hard to be aborted". hahah classic! - Fri, 7 May 2004 8:39am | ||
| Mi*coll* User Info... | i think fuckface should be leader. - Fri, 7 May 2004 11:38am | ||
| Troo_Kvlt User Info... | This is the worst fucking thread I have ever read....turbo-Gi - Sun, 9 May 2004 11:56am | ||
| Matt User Info... | Yeah, it's soooooooo turbo-gi. I mean, Maddox doesn't even have pics of tr00 kvlt blak methul bands in the woods. How turbo-gi. - Mon, 10 May 2004 9:13am | ||
| techno/rave,stuff,industrial,other different music User Info... | hooray for gordon camble he was the best! - Mon, 31 May 2004 4:50pm | ||
| KnifeGhost User Info... | It would be kinda fun if Maddox took power...... I can't think of anything more satisfying than assassinating a head of state (especailly this head of state) with a half-dozen Anarchists with baseball bats.... I'm a man of peace, but that I can get behind...... Although I actually support his position on Ska.... - Mon, 31 May 2004 6:14pm | ||
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