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Funny And/Or Weird Tour Stories...
| Message Board > Music Chitchat - Heavy > Funny And/Or Weird Tour Stories... |
| Mr. Hell User Info... |  After half an hour I re-boarded the RV and they were still there. I figured I should take advantage of their beer and see about getting them out. Then one of the dudes decides he is going to get naked. Shirt comes off and we all protest, saying, "It's time to leave, buddy! You're going to wake up Tony." who was sick in the Hot Pocket (the sleeping/farting area above the driver's seat). Being a weird fuck-knob, the guy takes off his pants and says he is going to climb into the Hot Pocket and spoon our ill guitarist. I stepped in the way and blocked him while the others got him out of there. Apparently Tony was awake and had a concealed weapon ready for the guy if he made it in. Close call! Not worth a free beer or two. Even the worst days on tour are the best times! Anyone else got a good tour story? - Tue, 4 Apr 2006 4:12pm Edited: Tue, 4 Apr 2006 5:05pm | ||
| Curmudgeon Rocker User Info... | Hmmmmm......Judging by the photo of the happily gay person I think the naked redneck would have been "recieved" quite "handsomely". More trippy than crazy: Soy, Aug. '97, at an empty campsite outside of North Battleford, Sask., shitloads of John Labatt Classic on hand - getting dumbass agoraphobic whooziness from all that flat fucking horizon all around us (lived in this NON-FLAT region all my life, you know). Getting more drunk and thinking that I can actually see the edge of the fucking earth - all that freaking sky above - and then the largest lightning storm I've seen takes up the entire sky to the south, far enough away to let us safely trip out at it in our lawnchairs, yet huge enough to seem like it was spread out a good 180 degrees around us. This went on well into the night - CONSTANT showers of lightning forks fucking EVERYWHERE - while the actual weather where we were remained fine and ducky. Where the fuck's Pink Floyd when ya need'em, eh? I think I put back 17 brewskis that night. So - not crazy, but cool nonetheless. There is, also, that menacing, aggressive squirrel we had to contend with in Cache Creek. /I think I'm gonna have to hear canon.docre outdo me on this, though. - Tue, 4 Apr 2006 6:56pm Edited: Tue, 4 Apr 2006 7:30pm | ||
| H User Info... | Last nov/dec we toured with Hinder. those guys are a gong show. At some point after a show, their guitar player managed to get a girl into their RV and started getting busy. I guess he had to piss or something, cause after a bit he left the girl alone - only to be snatched up by the band's bassplayer. Anyways, said geetbox player comes back and freaks out. The girl got upset, started getting dressed and was about to leave when the guitar player decides he's still horny and coaxes her back in. Then after a few minutes she stops, saying "sorry, but your bassplayer is waaay better" As for us, I've got a great one about my singer all drunkard up on absynth but I'll save that for later. - Thu, 6 Apr 2006 1:10pm Edited: Thu, 6 Apr 2006 1:17pm | ||
| jackass User Info... | hehe, what *don't* bassplayers do better? - Fri, 7 Apr 2006 8:46am Edited: Fri, 7 Apr 2006 8:47am | ||
| H User Info... | bassplayers are the best at everything, so really there is nothing we dont do better. anyways, its 8.15 and there's booze to be dranken, but i've got some great stories ill post tomorrow while hung - Fri, 7 Apr 2006 8:10pm Edited: Fri, 7 Apr 2006 8:12pm | ||
| H User Info... |  Britt Black's first tour was called a bunch of shit. supernova called it the 'black in action' tour; we called it the 'zaed introduced us to jager shots' tour. but when we played the hammer at a club called absynthe, we naturally opted for the club's namesake instead. My singer for the first time on the tour got bombed. So bombed that on the way back to toronto that night she puked up a storm (i think daryl did too). Later that night we hit up a shopper's so britt could use the can. They refused, so she knocked down all the shit on the aisles. My poor guitar player had to clean it up. another highlight was taking over the hotel restaurant in sault ste marie - a night that included sneaking across the border to go to a strip club, my drummer playing with himself in a sauna mostly full of guys, my guitar player falling in our tour manager's piss, more than half the band getting rejected at the casino, and our guitar player taking a shower with his clothes on. - Sat, 8 Apr 2006 1:20pm Edited: Sat, 8 Apr 2006 1:21pm | ||
| Pierce User Info... | I got sucker punched while driving at 120 km/h in cruise control. It didn't hurt, but it pissed me off, made my eyes water, little bit of blood. I had to slam on the brakes so the other guys didn't die and shit. Fuk, i pull a nose hair and i can't see because of the tears. So i jumped on a plane and let the pilot get me home, hoping he wasn't flying in the cockpit with a fuckin idiot as well. If i had my time back.........Whammo! Actually, no matter what , i dont have the heart to hit a 5ft man. Can't do it. Fuk That. My opinion, stick to METAL! - Sat, 8 Apr 2006 11:51pm Edited: Sun, 9 Apr 2006 2:38pm | ||
| canon.docre User Info... | hmmmm .. at the firebreathing kangaroo house in seattle (Apparently on the wrong side of the tracks) someone got kidnapped at gunpoint in front of the venue. This guy gets into his car, and before his passengers get in this guy runs up, waves a gun at everyone, jumps in the drivers seat and they take off. The guy's girlfriend comes running into the venue screaming and crying .. one week later, some lucky singer from a band who ripped a heroin dealer off (let me guess, to fund his tour.. hahah) gets half-way across the country and then shot in the back at this very same venue. We're going back to play it June 3rd. At least they give free beer to the bands. - Mon, 10 Apr 2006 4:42pm Edited: Mon, 10 Apr 2006 4:45pm | ||
| Possessed User Info... | A few years ago, I was playing live guitar and keyboard for a band called St. Vitus Dance and we were a week into our 2 and a half month tour through North America when shit totally hit the fan. After we played in San Francisco, we were heading to LA to play a show and as we were passing a semi on the I-5 South, our back left tire and axl came off our van. So we were skidding on the 1-5, passing a semi and trying not to lose control. I'm in the front passenger seat, looking at my side mirror and all I see coming from behind is total smoke and sparks flying. So we manage to get off the highway, and skid on the dry grass in between the 1-5 South and I-5 North for a good 100 ft or so. We get out, and there's a nice long line of fire...what actually looked a lot like something from Back to the Future. We're dumping pop and water on the fire...whatever we can do to put it out pretty much. The fire was spreading close to a parked car that was heading in the opposite direction...or so we thought it was parked, but when my brother and I ran to tell them to get away from the fire we found out that our tire and axl went through their front winsheild. The front of their car was smashed up, and one of the passengers had litle cuts and blood on their face from the glass. It was a nightmare...fortunatly no one was seriously hurt. Eventually the firemen came, and we ended up missing a week of tour and spent that week in Los Banos and Santa Nela (spelling) waiting for our van to be fixed and the mechanic was total Billy Bob Thorton style from that movie U-Turn. We had no problems with the van after that, but I think we are selling it if anyone is interested. - Mon, 10 Apr 2006 6:07pm Edited: Mon, 10 Apr 2006 6:33pm | ||
| Ryan_Cynic User Info... | I have a gizillion great stories but im way too fuckin lazy to type ... or read . - Mon, 10 Apr 2006 9:03pm Edited: Mon, 10 Apr 2006 9:03pm | ||
| Mr. Hell User Info... | Yeah, thanks for your armchair contribution. Anyone ever done 125km/h down an Ontario two lane boonie "highway" in an RV with a trailer attached? That is some scary shit. Great stories so far! MORE!!! - Mon, 10 Apr 2006 9:14pm Edited: Mon, 10 Apr 2006 9:17pm | ||
| Pierce User Info... | After a show opening for Dillon Redemption Choir (ex Headstone frontman) I said "Good Show" and he stuck his finger up to me. I figured it was his way of being cool. So the next night I stuck my finger up to him after a set. He walked up with those Heroin Addicted eyes and said " I WILL FUCK YOU UP". I think i started to cry. - Mon, 10 Apr 2006 9:41pm Edited: Mon, 10 Apr 2006 9:43pm | ||
| Mr. Hell User Info... | Hey, Pierce. Who would be unbalanced enough to punch the driver while the vehicle is going 120k? Who the hell is this moron? And why won't Hugh Dillon follow in Joe Dick's footsteps? - Mon, 10 Apr 2006 9:55pm Edited: Mon, 10 Apr 2006 9:57pm | ||
| jackass User Info... | wasn't in an RV w/ a trailer, but it was in the middle of buttfuck nowhere on a highway in "northern Ontario", which I call "western Ontario", in the wee hours of the night/morning, I'm driving our van loaded to the tits w/ gear and sleeping people, humming along at a pretty decent clip. Way up in the distance I can see the back lights of a semi-trailer blinking, and it looked like he was pulled over. I remember thinking, "pfft, probably pulled over to get some sleep...pussssssaaaay." Sure enough, as I get closer, I can tell that it is indeed a semi pulled over to the side of the highway with all his running lights blinking. Then I noticed the incredibly large, blacker than black lump of something in the middle of the road that I was speeding towards at high velocity and realized suddenly why the semi had pulled over. Dead moose. Middle of the road. Heading right for it. High speed. Not good. Swerve. Almost died. Scary. Slow down. Stupid moose. - Tue, 11 Apr 2006 8:59am Edited: Tue, 11 Apr 2006 9:04am | ||
| jackass User Info... | also have lots of good memories of "van wars" with theJohnsons (who are coming out this way in April btw) and Moneyshot. Flying brownies, greasy meat pizza coating our windshield, frozen teriyaki sauce all over the front of the van, a deep and delicious chocolate cake smeared all over the Johnsons radiator, mustard filled condom bombs, stolen fire extinguishers.... Ahhh good times. - Tue, 11 Apr 2006 9:05am Edited: Tue, 11 Apr 2006 9:08am | ||
| Pierce User Info... | That moron would be a lead singer of a band i was in. 1:00 am. Just an hour outside of Lloydminster on our way to Victoria for a show the next night. I am standing outside of the truck and lead singer came over and slapped me across the face. Fucker. But whatever he was drunk.16 hours of driving ahead of us. I put the truck in Cruise control and get compfortable. The lead singer says he wants to drive and to immediately stop. Yeah ok, i am going to let someone loaded drunk drive. Then WHAMMO! He got very violent. Saying things like "I own you" "you are nothing" "you pussy piece of shit can't take a punch" " I didn't even hit you hard" Everyone says, "why didn't you kick the shit out of that small piece of garbage". Well, first of all, I have never in my life struck someone except for my cousin who was drinking and driving. Secondly, there was 2 other extremely loaded drunk dudes. I chose to walk away and get on a plane. In my time dealing with said person i witness 4 assaults, 2 of which were band mates, and I spent one night wondering when our lead singer would get out of jail. I witnessed headlocks, verbal abuse, just nothing but alot of Hostility. Unblanced? Absolutely. I even spoke with him about getting help. He agreed he had an anger problem. So it isnt his fault fully, alot of people have issues with anger. Could be chemical unbalance. - Tue, 11 Apr 2006 11:25am Edited: Tue, 11 Apr 2006 11:38am | ||
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