Forum Closed
The forum is now to new posts. All the historical content is still available to browse.
if you are looking for musicians to play with, please view the Bands Seeking Musicians list, or use the Musicians Directory
You can use our pages on social media to connect:
36 Rules For Bands
| Message Board > Found on the web > 36 Rules For Bands |
| ticklefish User Info... | ~36 RULES FOR BANDS:~ 1. Never start a trio with a married couple. 2. Your manager's not helping you. Fire him/her. 3. Before you sign a record deal, look up the word "recoupable" in the dictionary. 4. No one cares who you've opened for. 5. A string section does not make your songs sound any more "important". 6. If your band has gone through more than 4 bass players, it's time to break up. 7. When you talk on stage you are never funny. 8. If you sound like another band, don't act like you're unfamiliar with their music ("Oh does Rage Against The Machine also do rap-rock with political lyrics?") 9. Asking a crowd how they're doing is just amplified small talk. Don't do it. 10. Don't say your video's being played if it's only on the Austin Music Network. 11. When you sign to a major label, claim to have inked the best contract ever. Mention "artistic freedom" and "a guaranteed 3 record deal". 12. When you get dropped insist that it was the worst contract ever and you asked to be let go. 13.Never name a song after your band. 14. Never name your band after a song. 15. When a drummer brings in his own songs and asks to perform one of them, begin looking for a new drummer IMMEDIATELY. 16. Never enter a "battle of the bands" contest. If you do you're already a loser. 17. Learn to recognize scary word pairings: "rock opera", "white rapper", "blues jam", "swing band", "open mike", etc. 18. Drummers can take off their shirts or they can wear gloves, but not both. 19. Listen, either break it to your parents or we will; it's rock 'n' roll, not a soccer game. They've gotta stop coming to your shows. 20. It's not a "showcase". It's a gig that doesn't pay. 21. No one cares that you have a web site. 22. Getting a tattoo is like sewing platform shoes to your feet. 23. Don't hire a publicist. 24. Playing in San Marcos & Alpine doesn't mean you're on tour. 25. Don't join a cover band that plays Bush songs. In fact, don't join a cover band. 26. Although they come in different styles and colors, electric guitars all sound the same. Why do you keep changing them between songs? 27. Don't stop your set to ask that beers be brought up. That's what girlfriends/boyfriends are for. 28. If you use a smoke machine, your music sucks. 29. We can tell the difference between a professionally produced album cover and one you made with the iMac your mom got for Christmas. 30. Remember, if blues solos are so difficult, why can so many 16 year olds play them? 31. If you ever take a publicity photo, destroy it. You may never know where or when it will turn up. 32. Cut your hair, but do not shave your head. 33. Pierce your nose, but not your eyebrow. 34. Do not wear shorts onstage. Or a suit. Or a hat. 35. Rock oxymorons; "major label interest", "demo deal"," blues genius", "$500 guarantee", and "Fastball's second hit". 36. 3 things that are never coming back: a)gongs, b)headbands, and c)playing slide guitar with a beer bottle. - Fri, 16 Jan 2004 8:14am | ||
| ROSS B AY User Info... | Damn...i guess we're all finished. Finally! Now I can get to all that poetry I've been putting off.... - Fri, 16 Jan 2004 8:22am | ||
| Wreaker of Havoc User Info... | Fuck you GONGs rule and what the hell do you mean about headbands???? They never went out of style. Trust me I KNOW style...... - Fri, 16 Jan 2004 9:13am | ||
| Dick Splint User Info... | Yeah - I have a problem with the headband thing as well. Headbands rule. Obviously the person who wrote this list lives in butfuck Kansas or something. Probably thinks that Trucker hats are cool. Retard. - Fri, 16 Jan 2004 9:54am | ||
| Wreaker of Havoc User Info... | and what is wrong with trucker hats???? I suppose the fashion police have a problem with my adidas sneakers and knee high striped sport socks?? Although these shorts are a little nug....... - Fri, 16 Jan 2004 10:42am | ||
| Mr. Hell User Info... | Yes. Slow Dave knows about gongs (see last track on Corrode). And you are the queen of headbands. - Fri, 16 Jan 2004 11:27am | ||
| --{-(X)-}-- User Info... | managers suck. . - Fri, 16 Jan 2004 11:29am | ||
| Mike Reno User Info... | Yeah, fuck you guys. Whut do you know,anyway! POSERS!!!!! - Fri, 16 Jan 2004 7:09pm | ||
| _Griphin_ User Info... | Heh... I actually have the Corrode CD. But where is this gong reference? - Fri, 16 Jan 2004 10:03pm | ||
| thegabrihell User Info... | You have to listen to the "hidden bit" at the end... - Fri, 16 Jan 2004 10:08pm | ||
| ROSS B AY User Info... | PAUL DEAN SAY - HOOOOWWWAAAHHH..... - Sat, 17 Jan 2004 3:38am | ||
| [+} User Info... | it's funny because it's true. - Sat, 17 Jan 2004 11:23am | ||
| Instrument of Karma #1 User Info... | He who says that beer bottle slides are a thing of the past has NEVER seen a Nashville Pussy show. (That's one happy beer bottle.) Gotta agree with you on the headbands, though. - Sun, 18 Jan 2004 4:59am | ||
| [+} User Info... | it's all about smashing the bottle first. - Sun, 18 Jan 2004 6:50am | ||
| _Griphin_ User Info... | I hear it, it's 10:57 into the last track. Gong appears at 11:32 - Sun, 18 Jan 2004 12:19pm | ||
| ticklefish User Info... | The only one that is blasphemy is #26... the difference between my Strat and my Epi WIldkat is night and day - Mon, 19 Jan 2004 7:36am | ||
|
|||
Not logged in
Log In / Register (optional)
Featured Events
Featured Historical Events
Featured Article
Newest Profiles
District of Saanich - Community Services
The Community Services Division of Saanich Parks, Recreation...
Open / Operational
Haute Curations
We sell original giclee canvas art prints to businesses
Victoria BC
Open / Operational
