Forum Closed
The forum is now to new posts. All the historical content is still available to browse.
if you are looking for musicians to play with, please view the Bands Seeking Musicians list, or use the Musicians Directory
You can use our pages on social media to connect:
Letter from Terry Jones
| Message Board > General Chitchat > Letter from Terry Jones |
| Anonymous | A letter to the London Observer from Terry Jones of Monty Python. Letter to the Observer Sunday January 26, 2003 The Observer I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street. Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is. As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one. Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours. They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want! And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us. That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way. Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just a much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue states'and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved it? How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves. Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims? It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up. Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws andinterstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come. It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street. -Terry Jones - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 12:41pm | ||
| Anonymous | That's great, it puts it all in perfect perspective. You've got to love Terry Jones - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 1:00pm | ||
| Jesse User Info... | hahaha, Damn monty python kicks ass! Thats fucking hilarious - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 3:28pm | ||
| Anonymous | I agree with Bush for the most, although he is too slow to act. The world population could use a reduction. Bombing would help. Take out as many as possible. All muslims first, then countries like N. Korea, take over as much as possible for economic growth. - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 4:00pm | ||
| Anonymous | They fuck with us, fry em all!! It's a dog eat dog world and our peaceful, kiss ass attitude is making us weak. The US policy for warfare is creating a bunch of pussies. And some politicians and organizations want to allow more faggots and women in the military?, hahaha I am Viking - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 4:05pm | ||
| Anonymous | I see, and I suppose the Vikings didn't have faggots in the tribe and their women all wore high heels. You don't know the fist thing about Vikings you little twit. I suppose you're going to tell me there were no artists or craftsmen in a Viking tribe either. - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 4:18pm | ||
| Masturbating The War God User Info... | That was a refreshing read, thanks! - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 4:33pm | ||
| Anonymous | I see, and I suppose the Vikings didn't have faggots in the tribe and their women all wore high heels. You don't know the fist thing about Vikings you little twit. I suppose you're going to tell me there were no artists or craftsmen in a Viking tribe either. - Wed, 26 Feb 2:18pm Homosexuality was NOT part of their culture, I dont think high heels were yet invented and they had some of the best craftsmen of the time. I'm pretty sure both high heels were invented in france for mens fashion in the 1500's Little twit? - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 5:17pm | ||
| Anonymous | I see, and I suppose the Vikings didn't have faggots in the tribe and their women all wore high heels. You don't know the fist thing about Vikings you little twit. I suppose you're going to tell me there were no artists or craftsmen in a Viking tribe either. - Wed, 26 Feb 2:18pm I wish I knew who you were, providing you are male. A UFC combat challenge would be a pleasure!! - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 5:23pm | ||
| Anonymous | You all have a vision of Vikings fostered by some very bad hollywood movies and some equally bad German operas. Yes Homosexuality is a part of all cultures. The Vikings are no exception. They were also very good at raising animals and farming in general. They wove their own wool from the sheep they raised. Their boats were way ahead of their time. If you actually read the Viking sagas and studied a little history you'd know that. The idea that all Vikings were just into slash and burn is completely wrong. Their attacks on the Christian settlements that they are notorious for were largely due to the persecution they faced from those same christians. When Harold Hardrada became a Christian he subjected his people to the same kinds of persecution, one of the reason many of them left Scandinavia and settled Iceland and Greenland. And no they did not have UFC combat challenges. What an asshole. - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 5:59pm | ||
| Jason User Info... | Does anyone really expect some great insight into ANY culture from some anonymous swinehund who's opening thought is "They fuck with us, fry em all!!"? Vikings had words (and therefore mental constructs and concepts) of same-sex activity. Just as the above post stated, most people have an incredibly shallow idea of what the Vikings really were. Unfortunately records of the Viking Age were usually written 200 to 300 years after the events took place. So were all working with a bit of a handicap, just some more than others. But fuck the vikings, read the original post. It sums up the current situation nicely. Disagree? go back to your TV. - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 6:05pm | ||
| Jedi | Vikings had words (and therefore mental constructs and concepts) of same-sex activity. Are you implying having the intellect ability to reason thoughts = same sex thoughts? - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 6:31pm | ||
| Jason User Info... | "Are you implying having the intellect ability to reason thoughts = same sex thoughts?" oh for fucks sakes, I hope your joking. all I'm saying is that a civilization is not likely to have words that they have no concept for in the first place. - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 6:48pm | ||
| Anonymous | Great post thank you. - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 6:51pm | ||
| Jedi | Ok Jason, I see your point now! Sorry bout that.. - Wed, 26 Feb 2003 7:56pm | ||
| SweetGrass | Um...Terry Jones for Prime MInister ! - Thu, 27 Feb 2003 2:35am | ||
| Ty Stranglehold User Info... | http://www.rathergood.com/vikings/ - Thu, 27 Feb 2003 4:49am | ||
| Anonymous | Ty that's hilarious, makes me want to break out in song..... Vikings and beekeepers, Vikings and beekeepers! - Thu, 27 Feb 2003 10:02am | ||
| Jedi | That was a cute lil video!! persecution from Christians??? -- I've noticed that locals here in Victoria have said that alot about cultures being repressed or persecuted by CHristians. Christians have never been in control of anyone. The main reason the first white settlers came to north america was to have the freedon to live as a christian. To this day christians are persecuted all over the world. Unless people think Roman Catholic is Christian, then those comments hold some truths. It was Roman Catholics that were persecuting Christians too. Can someone explain where non- Cathlic Christians ever had anything of power over others??? Other than the rise of the United States. The 52 men that signed the constitution were persecuted in ways most would die just watching, and All but one were believers in Christ! - Thu, 27 Feb 2003 10:22am | ||
| Anonymous | Jedi: Hmmmm, The term Christian and the term Roman Catholic meant the same thing right up until the time of the Protestant Reformation. While it's not quite that straight forward, there were always different sects and schisms within the "Church", it gets a little too involved to go into in detail. During the time of the Vikings the Roman Catholic church was the power in England and most of Europe. The King of Norway was one of the last of the old Pagan royalty to convert. However, when he became "Christian" he did so with a vengeance. The Viking sagas tell of him ripping the tongues out of his own people who wished to continue the old ways. - Thu, 27 Feb 2003 11:03am | ||
| Danny silverfish User Info... | How did this go from war in iraq to GAY VIKINGS - Thu, 27 Feb 2003 12:17pm | ||
| Jason User Info... | Hey Ty, I'm glad someone else has found the joy of rathergood.com And yes it's always funny watching threads mutate. Watch it mutate even more! Last but not least, Jedi. You seem like a nice enough person, but like every single christian I've ever met, your grasp on your religions history, or history in general, is weak. perhaps that's because if they did take the time to learn then their whole belief system would blow over like a house of cards. "believers in Christ" even that little statement is flawed. "christ" is a title, not a name. Its like saying "believers in king" or believers in President". Doesnt make much sense. "The 52 men that signed the constitution were persecuted in ways most would die just watching" Want to explain this one to me? I bet Jackson was feeling horribly persecuted when he was going through what is now Florida wiping out almost the entire population of Seminoles. oh those poor founding fathers.... - Thu, 27 Feb 2003 12:42pm | ||
| Anonymous | even that little statement is flawed. "christ" is a title, not a name. Its like saying "believers in king" or believers in President". Doesnt make much sense. actually a beleiver in christ is like saying "beleiver in the messiah", as that is what it means, and does in fact make sense. - Thu, 27 Feb 2003 1:46pm | ||
| Brian | Salem witch trial anyone? The Crusades anyone? Imperialism in the new world anyone? - Thu, 27 Feb 2003 2:27pm | ||
| S.V. | Back to the original topic...Terry Jones is marvellous! Who better to capture the irony of it all. I hope Bush caught that letter too. - Thu, 27 Feb 2003 2:39pm | ||
| BUSHETEY | KILL YOU ALL BUSH - Thu, 27 Feb 2003 4:23pm | ||
|
|||
Not logged in
Log In / Register (optional)
